Gaze: 2012/11/20

OH MG! What is it with this year?!!! What a vile, vile one it has been!! Excuse my language, I really don’t swear, but what the fuck?!!!! What an emotional nightmare this 2012 has been! First, with the LA Woman, and now with my art studies. In both cases I really took risks and put myself out there, and…well I got smooshed in both cases! I almost wish the Mayan calendar prediction of the end of the world were true!! I have passed the third year of my art degree but to say that I am disappointed and extremely…irritated with the marks I received is an understatement! But I guess that’s the risk you take when you select contentious subject matter: there will always be clashes, disagreements and conflicting opinions. I know I researched my subject matter extensively, and that should not be negated merely because there is a disagreement about or dislike of the conclusions that I, as the artist, arrived at, nor how I chose to present them. The sheer amount of work I produced was immense, and my attention to detail and quality exhaustive. Also it was an extremely personal project, climaxing with my performance, I took huge risks and experimented way beyond my comfort zone, and that at the very least, should be acknowledged. Fortunately my skin has metaphorically thickened over the past three years so I don’t feel like dying (well debatable) as a result of their implied and actual criticisms. But yes, I am mightily pissed off, and sadly, hurt!!! Unfortunately this is the cross that an artist has to bear, and especially a student artist: you live to create and die when your creation is scorned. Those little deaths are terrible! Apparently, academically my piece was crap! Next year I should make it easy for myself: select a pretty mundane, simple subject, get some butcher-paper and crayons, and do some drawings and sketches, attach some pleasant research with it and present that. No angst, torture or blood, sweat and tears. A nice, safe and pleasant final year!  AAAaaah but I know I won’t do that, I live to challenge myself, and to learn and experience new things,so bring on Fourth Year!!! As I have mentioned in previous posts, the journey is as important as the destination. I will, of course, keep you posted on next year’s journey so stay tuned to this site.

Gaze: 2012/11/20. Details of altars

Ps: please note I have added images of the Gaze performance to my Third Year galleries.