So 2012 is over, and we, as a race, have survived another prophesized “end of the world” prediction. Damn!! The damn is directed at the former rather than the latter. The more I am witness to what we, humanity, are doing this planet and its inhabitants (flora and fauna and f-ing everything), the more I pray that something, anything, will either wake us the hell up and force us to do something, the right thing, or that something is done to us so that we are no longer the parasitic plague that we are. The fact is the way things are now, realistically there is not much hope in my opinion. We will drain this world and destroy everything on it, including ourselves. We die – the planet lives, we live – both we and the planet die. I honestly have to say that even a villain in the 007 mould as saviour would be an acceptable solution in my opinion.

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I remember as a boy being fascinated by “Bond, James Bond”. Although good he was bad! But what makes the Bond series compelling (besides the action, thrills, all the beautiful women, scenic locations and awesome gadgets), are the complex villains. Often, although you felt obliged to root for the good guy, Bond, you would be saddened at the demise of his nemesis, as spectacularly inventive as they inevitably were. Well I was saddened anyway. Two of my favourites would have to be Karl Stromberg from The Spy Who Loved Me and Sir Hugo Drax from Moonraker. Why am I fondest of these two: both planned to rid the world of humanity, well, to cull humanity probably better describes their evil schemes?

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Stromberg planned to destroy the world by using pirated US and Soviet nuclear submarines to fire missiles at New York and Moscow. This would trick the world’s governments into starting a war resulting in a nuclear holocaust. With civilization’s extinction Stromberg planned to rebuild it beneath the sea. Bond however saves the day by replotting the missile coordinates so that the submarines destroy each other. In Stromberg’s awesome, awesome sea lair 007 then shoots him through the barrel of his weapon beneath the dining table. As Stromberg dies, his lair disintegrates around him and he is consigned to a watery grave in his beloved sea.

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I personally preferred Drax’s evil plot: to destroy all human life on Earth by using a poisonous gas infused into specially designed globes, and to rebuild humanity from carefully chosen breeding stock. The gas would only kill humans leaving all other life unharmed. Drax had an almost-as-awesome lair as Stromberg, a space station! The space station containing the poisonous globes is destroyed by US Marines; Bond shoots Drax with a poison dart from his watch (awesome gadget) and is jettisoned into outer space. I often wonder if I had limitless wealth would I become the saviour of the planet by becoming a super villain in the mould of those two? Would I have what it takes to play God? Heaven knows I certainly don’t like humanity but I am a moral person. But is this case of a lesser Evil for a greater Good? Perhaps governments are at this very moment culling humanity to prevent our demise? Was the AIDS virus an example of this? Or are we just hurtling along to our doom, much like the Titanic, able to see our iceberg but unable to avoid it? Will our selfish, self-involved, greedy natures result in our extinction? We certainly deserve it; unfortunately it is most likely that we will take most of the life on this planet with us.

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On to cheerier matters and keeping with the context of Bond, I saw the latest instalment of the franchise: Skyfall. Great movie, Daniel and Javier rock in it! And the inevitable question: who is my favourite Bond? I like them all, instead I have favourite Bond movies. Sean Connery: Thunderball. Roger Moore: The Spy Who Loved Me. Timothy Dalton: Licence Revoked. Pierce Brosnan: Goldeneye. Daniel Craig: Skyfall.

James50